Do you feel that you are being led, rather than leading?
If so, this could be an indication that fear is running the show.
Sometimes we’re aware of it, but often we’re not. There are so many fears that can impact on how we feel, without us knowing.
Fear of failure, fear of getting it wrong, fear of looking silly or incompetent. These are all quite common.
But so is a fear of being stuck, a fear of not reaching our potential or getting left behind.
Fear in that sense can be helpful. Because it highlights what will happen if we don’t act. In other words, we’ll stay exactly where we are. And that can be the scariest thought of all.
Fear is there to teach us something
So don’t be scared of fear. Fear can be good. Use it to motivate and move yourself. Use it to make positive changes towards the life you want. Not the life you feel stuck in.
As Susan Jeffers famously wrote, “Feel the fear and do it anyway!”
Photo credit: Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash
One of the most common, but unhelpful, thinking patterns is self doubt.
When things go wrong, or don’t go to plan, it is so easy for us to look within ourselves as the first point of blame.
Once we get stuck in that cycle, it can be harmful and upsetting. And we can become fearful of putting ourselves out there again.
If you recognise that self blame is something that you notice in your own thought patterns, try asking some reflective questions:
Is what’s happened within my control?
What did I do, or not do, that affected this outcome?
What could I do differently next time?
Do I need some help or practice in order for me to do that?
Learn to coach yourself
Any good coach would take you through this process of reflective learning, in order to help you grow and develop.
By being able to practice this kind of reflection on yourself, you can take back control over how you react, and how you will act in future.
Photo credit: Paolo Nicolello on Unsplash