Welcome to the New Year

A woman looking over her shoulder into the distance

Don’t. Look. Back. ⚡️ So we’re welcoming in a New Year, and it’s tempting to keep one foot in the last one…by choice or not.

However the last year has treated you, the dawning of a new year can bring a funny mixture of trepidation and excitement.

It also gives us a real opportunity to draw a line and start again. If we choose to. But we risk being unkind to ourselves by dragging along the regrets, failings, comparison and doubt that may have come up last year.

And with that, comes the pressure to do more, be better, achieve greater.

What if you just allowed yourself rest and compassion instead?

Welcome the new year as a chance to go again. When you’re ready. We achieve much more by being consistent with our actions, and more intentional with our thoughts. And we can’t do that if we’re punishing ourselves with resolutions that expect too much, too soon.

So welcome 2023 warmly, yet gently. Treat it as a budding shoot, that needs nurturing and care. 🌱

There are 364 more days left…you don’t need to do it all this week!! ⚡️

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Photo credit: Debbie Pan via Unsplash.com

What keeps you awake at night?

Description of hands creeping out of the ocean

It’s that time of year when we’re surrounded by all things spooky and scary.

But what is it that REALLY keeps you awake at night?

I think for me, the biggest thing I struggle with is self doubt.  And it’s definitely something that creeps up on me.

Things That Go Bump In The Night

It often starts off with an uneasy feeling.  I begin to feeling unsure when I’m making decisions.  Then I’m overthinking decisions and actions.  Worrying about all the possible things that could go wrong. And dithering or putting off doing things, because “what if it does all go wrong?”.

The Ghost of Decisions Past

If you recognise that this happens for you too, then you might also be visited by the ‘Ghost of Decisions Past’.   You know the one…it often starts lurking around 3am when you can’t sleep, and the suddenly you’re replaying conversations and situations over again in your mind, and you hear the whispers of mistakes and regrets gone by.

Unwelcome Visitations

We’d like to think that we can shake off these ‘visitations’, but their effects can remain with us subconsciously.  It’s almost as though a little poisonous seed has been planted, which starts to latch on to our conscious thoughts.  And then every time we try to make changes or take action, the little seed sends out the venom to kill off our positive ideas.

Facing The Demons

There are things that can help to tackle self doubt, however.

For me, this first step is being able to notice when it’s there.   Because it is something that often creeps up on us, so we might not even notice it at first.  Getting curious and asking what is behind those uncomfortable feelings can sometimes help to pinpoint what is triggering it.

Secondly, it also helps to consciously recall and focus on the times where I have overcome my doubts in the past.  Or at least, persevered in spite of it.  Because feeling uncertain and anxious about the outcome in certain situations is normal.  So if I can recall at time where I was dreading something, but actually it turned out better than I’d anticipated, then this can remind me that my thoughts are not always true.

And thirdly, I write myself a realistic plan.  Because I know that feeling unprepared will pretty much always lead to me feeling less confident.  If I have the time, then I like to think of some possible outcomes or scenarios and then ask myself what I could about it.  The key thing here though is to keep it realistic – that means not getting carried away with every possible outcome, but which ones are most likely, and which outcomes can I control.   

So if self doubt is an unwelcome visitor for you, try some of these ideas out for yourself.  The only way to conquer those fears is to face them.

Photo credit:  Daniel Jensen via Unsplash.com

If not now, when?

Scrabble letters spelling out the quote, If not now, when

As we head into the last quarter of 2022, you may be feeling the pull to end the year on a high.  Perhaps you started the year with good intentions and plans…but other things got in the way?

But the reality is, there is always something that will get in the way.

If you’re looking for perfect timing, or the ideal conditions, then chances are you could be waiting for a while.  And although feeling prepared will help your confidence, procrastinating and letting time slip away, will eat into your confidence even more.

It’s a cliche that “we always regret the chances we didn’t take”, but regret and frustration from not taking action can really eat away at self esteem.  And it impacts how likely we are to put ourselves forward for things in the future.

Recognise where you might be holding yourself back by waiting, and ask yourself whether waiting is actually serving you in the long term.

If not now, when?

Photo credit: Brett Jordan via Unsplash.com