Self reflection

How To Have A Happier New Year

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An image of a calendar page for the month of January

Firstly, Happy New Year to you all!  It’s that time when we sincerely wish each other all the best for the coming 12 months.  And you may be feeling some trepidation about what’s in store, after the last two years.

Here are some ideas of how to have a happier new year.

Firstly, take stock of how the last twelve months have been for you.  For lots of us, 2021 was another challenging year and the thought of turning the calendar page may be welcome.

But if we’re feeling uncertain or anxious about the future, it can be helpful to give a few moments thought to remind ourselves what we’ve gone through.

Secondly, be patient with where you are right now.  New Year is traditionally a time for resolutions and goals, but if you’re feeling depleted and exhausted, then this isn’t the time to make any life changing decisions or set yourself huge challenges.

If you know that there are some changes you want to make in the coming year, start to think about what that might look like.  Why are you wanting to make those changes? How do you want to feel? Focussing on the general ‘big picture’ can help to clarify our goals.  For example, if you’re feeling really frustrated and stuck at work, do you need a new challenge or project rather than making a career change.  Or could you investigate starting a potentially profitable hobby or side hustle whilst you’re still working, to test out how your idea of being your own boss would feel.

Starting small is a good way to go at this time of year.  It’s a lot less pressure than going all-out on something, and you’ll still be making progress.

Likewise if you want to make some lifestyle changes, such as exercising more or eating healthier.  Start by making small incremental changes each week, commit to doing 15mins exercise a day for example, so that you get in the habit of working out at a certain time and then increase it gradually.

It’s estimated that up to 80% of New Years resolutions fail, and that is mainly due by people trying to do too much too soon, and becoming despondent when they can stick to the strict routine or cut things out too quickly.

Taking some time during January to get really clear on how you want to feel by 31st December this year, can help to cement that vision and give you the motivation to get started. And keep going.

Be good to yourself this year, there are still 11 months left to fulfil those New Year wishes!

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

Why Do We Resist Change?

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An image of a girl with her head in her hands

None of us want to stay the same forever.  But it can be hard to make changes, even when we know we need to.  So why do we resist change?

Some of the most common blocks and barriers are quite obvious when we think about change.  Namely fear.  And more fear!

Fear of the unknown.  Fear of failure.  Fear of getting it wrong.  Fear of looking stupid, or worrying about what other people will think.  These are the most common ones that we all experience at some point.

If you’ve ever experienced change, then it’s likely that you’ve come across many feelings like this.  And it’s completely normal.  When we choose to step outside of our comfort zone, we are entering into the world of the unknown.  And when we’re faced with the unknown, our brain can go into overdrive, as it tries to keep us safe.

This is a good thing, because it can stop us from taking unnecessary risk or putting ourselves in harms way.

But some element of fear can also be beneficial, because this is where we learn the most.  And overcoming that fear can be lead to a new level of confidence.  Adrenaline sports and activities for example give us a big old dose of dopamine, and give us a natural high.  And if you’ve ever challenged yourself to do something really scary, the confidence buzz you felt afterwards was possibly worth all the worry beforehand?  Maybe.

But there can also be some other side effects of change that we may not have considered.  For example, sometimes making a positive change for ourselves, can affect how others see us.  And we might (consciously or otherwise) not want to put ourselves in a position where we stand out.

Rather than worry about what people might think if we fail, we also worry about what they’ll say if we succeed.

We might feel that if we succeed at something, other people might not accept us, or we might not fit in anymore.

Again, this links into the fear element.   But a fear of success is probably less talked about.  It could be something to consider, if you’re feeling some resistance to change, but can’t work out why.

Either way, accepting that feeling uncomfortable is a part of the change process can help us to anticipate it more, or put in some safety factors.  If we anticipate what might happen, we can plan for it.

We can’t foresee everything that could possibly go wrong of course, none of us are fortune tellers.  But we can be more welcoming to change with a little practice.

Photo credit: Dev Asangbam on Unsplash

What Is It Costing You To Remain Where You Are?

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Woman sat in contemplation what is it costing you to remain where you are

Do you need to consider what it’s costing you to remain where you are?

I’ve been looking at the theme of living with purpose this month, and for the May newsletter I’ve created a mini guide with hints and tips of how you can live life with more purpose (click on the link here if you haven’t signed up yet!)

This week, I’m looking at what it is costing us to remain where we are.

It’s very easy to get lost in the ‘day to day’, especially with everything that’s been going on during the past year, and we can drift or lose focus.

And as the weeks roll into months, and roll into years, the time always passes quicker when we are head down, getting on with it.

Perhaps after months of lockdown, you’ve had lots of time for reflection and questions – I know I certainly have. And I don’t want to go back to how life was before.

If you recognise that you are feeling unmotivated, or lack confidence or inspiration, you may well be feeling stuck.   And it’s likely that you may have lost, or outgrown, your purpose.

By not having a purpose to work towards, we can lose focus. But it doesn’t matter how big or small that purpose is.  Purpose doesn’t need to be this huge achievement or ambition…it can mean being better than we were yesterday, or last week, or last year.

It’s recognising that we want different.  We want better.  We deserve better.

Often we don’t notice until we hit that wall, asking ‘Is this it?’.

The very act of recognising means that we are intentionally noticing what’s going on. Maybe you haven’t done that for a while either?

The first step in getting unstuck is noticing that you are stuck.  Because then you can create the vision of where you want to be instead.

Photo credit: by Milan Popovic on Unsplash