Planning and preparation can help us to anticipate problems, and give us the chance to make adjustments if we see something on the horizon which could be a problem.
But we can also become too distracted or focused on the ‘what ifs’…and end up creating new problems for ourselves.
Trying to find that balance can be hard. We want to do our best and avoid any pitfalls, but in doing so, we lose sight of the here and now. Maybe we appear distracted or not interested in what is going on around us. Or we freeze and can’t take action, because we’ve built up all of these scenarios of failure in our minds.
Try and notice how much time you spend on the ‘what if’ scenarios…and whether you’re thinking too much about what ‘might’ happen, rather than what ‘is’ happening.
Being able to recognise these thought patterns is the first and most important step.
Photo credit: Arthur Ogleznev via Unsplash.com
One of the most common, but unhelpful, thinking patterns is self doubt.
When things go wrong, or don’t go to plan, it is so easy for us to look within ourselves as the first point of blame.
Once we get stuck in that cycle, it can be harmful and upsetting. And we can become fearful of putting ourselves out there again.
If you recognise that self blame is something that you notice in your own thought patterns, try asking some reflective questions:
Is what’s happened within my control?
What did I do, or not do, that affected this outcome?
What could I do differently next time?
Do I need some help or practice in order for me to do that?
Learn to coach yourself
Any good coach would take you through this process of reflective learning, in order to help you grow and develop.
By being able to practice this kind of reflection on yourself, you can take back control over how you react, and how you will act in future.
Photo credit: Paolo Nicolello on Unsplash